A busy life is obvious. A busy mind is insidious.
I have recently taken on a coaching client and as I always do, we started by defining the problem.
”A problem defined is a problem half solved.” – Charles Kettering (General Motors – 1920-1947)
The client defined his problems as the following.
- Too many commitments → ‘busy life’
His schedule was full or at least he felt like that. Between work, time with wife and kids and his social commitments, he felt there was “no time to dedicate to his own personal growth and development”.
- Too much ‘noise’ in his head → ‘busy mind’
He found it really hard to find peace of mind and just stop thinking for once and be present. He was always thinking about his “never ending to do list”.
- He felt “lost with no clear sense of direction or purpose”.
This culminated in a deep sense of not being able to live up to his full potential.
I reckon these are super common problems.
If this is you, it is possible that you see it as a problem but haven’t spent the time to clearly define it.
A problem defined is a problem half-solved so I strongly invite you to grab a pen, some paper, your favourite beverage and DEFINE IT. Give yourself the permission to do this! This is the hidden barrier for most people. We already have a gazillion (my nephew’s favourite number) things to do. It seems counterintuitive and perhaps countercultural to slow down and make time to do an exercise like this. Give yourself permission.
I suggest you do a brain dump first. Write down everything that comes to you. Don’t worry about whether it makes sense or if it is in the right order. Just write.
Once you are happy that all of your problems are somewhere on the paper, simplify these problems into a list of dot points.
For most people, in some form or another, being busy will be at least one of these dot points.
This could be the busyness of life.
-Not enough time.
-Always in a rush.
-A neverending to-do list.
-Tired. One of my patients once told me that they are ‘too tired to relax’.
This could be the busyness of the mind.
-An inability to ‘stop’.
-Racing thoughts.
-Dwelling about the past.
-Worrying about the future.
-Recalling that to-do list.
I think that having a busy life is largely a social construct. You can be incredibly productive and effective and still have a lot of free space in your calendar.
I think that having a busy mind is one of the oldest problems known to human beings. In the words of Naval Ravikant, old problems have old solutions. A lot of the answers lie in silence.
“Silence is not empty. It is full of answers.” – Whoever said this knew something that you can only truly understand through experience.
Much love to you and of course myself,
Dr G
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